More Drastic Medical News

For the past 5-6 years, I have been trying to get social security disability, mainly due to my back. Apparently, they think that I am severely disabled to their standards, so they have denied me again and again. So, last year, I decided to try something different. I went to see civilian doctors, instead of my VA doctor. I thought it might help my case, but it didn’t. The entire year of 2018, I was seeing civy doctors for my hip, back, and mental issues. Nothing they did and none of their tests helped me with my case. Last year was a rough one for me, having all these medical issues and no doctor to help. Over the course of the year, I encountered many challenges and have had to face them alone. I knew something was really wrong with me, and I couldn’t figure out what/couldn’t get a doctor to do the right thing. The main thing that was wrong with me was my weight loss. I had a repeat MRI on my back and they had found cysts in my ovaries. My first thought…cancer. Cancer has killed many of my family members (breast-grandma, lung-great grandpa, liver-father, prostate/bone-grandpa, ovarian & cervical-great grandma). I immediately had the cysts checked out at a lady doctor and it was a normal type of cyst for women that still have periods. Well, that was good that it wasn’t cancer, but all my symptoms still had me worrying.

Last January, I was 160lbs. In May, I was 135 (my high school weight) and I was happy with that; I practically lost all of my baby weight from both of my pregnancies. Between May and December, I lost more weight and was down to 105 by the end of the year. Everyone in my family kept telling me that I was getting too skinny. My sister thought I looked “good”. I felt ok, but not with everyone’s skinny comments. My husband even told me that I need to eat, no matter what.

No one, not even my doctors, could figure out what was going on. Finally, this year, I went to see my VA doctor. I explained to him the entire last year, about losing weight and not trying to and not having an appetite. Well, he gave me a full exam, including a women’s exam. He asked me a weird question, how long it had been since I had breastfed. I told him over a year and half and he said that’s not good. Apparently, my body has been producing prolactin ever since I had my daughter. To be honest, I didn’t know that it was a bad thing, producing breastmilk out of pregnancy or breastfeeding. It was a sort of “sexy” thing behind closed doors…

Well, I had an MRI done on my brain and I have a pituitary microadenoma, cerebellar tonsil ectopia, and a Rathke’s cleft cyst all in my brain. The pituitary tumor is benign because it’s only 5mm, yet I know this has been my main medical issue. This is what’s causing me to not have an appetite and vomiting food that I just ate and being tired all the time. It’s also causing female problems, which causes issues behind closed doors.

The Rathke’s cleft cyst is very small and happens when the Rathke pouch doesn’t develop properly during fetal development. This is something that no one could help or know unless looking for something else. But now I know it’s there.

The cerebellar tonsil ectopia, or Chiari I Malformation, is a displacement of the cerebral tonsils into the cervical spinal canal. I have no clue as to what caused this, but my cerebral tonsils have descended about 4mm. If it descends anymore, it could put pressure on my central nervous system and cause more problems. Pretty much, everything listed above could cause more serious issues if the tumors continue to grow or my tonsils descend more. This stuff could press on nearby nerves, cause my vision to get worse, and give terrible headaches. Honestly, I already have headaches (usually in the back of my head) and I get double vision all the time.

I had an incident the other day that scared the crap out of me. I was coming down from some stairs and my head got really light. My vision was very tunnel-ly, like I could literally only see what was in front of me. My husband was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs and I was only 3 steps from him. I looked at him and said, “I feel like I can’t reach you”. I couldn’t move my legs and could hardly see anything. Finally, he helped me down and I had to sit for a good 10 minutes before I could walk normally. I actually went to sleep lightheaded that night…Then the other day, I threw up my lunch. No idea why, but it happened, so I just laid down to nap.

I am always tired, most of the time I can’t sleep at night knowing all this new information. And this does NOT include everything wrong with my back. I jacked up my back in the military and my latest MRI/CT scan shows that it’s progressing.IMG_3852_edited_Signed

Local Catfish Festival 2018

So, there’s this woman at my husband’s job that has been through the worst. She moved here and doesn’t know anyone. My husband decided to speak up and say that I would be an awesome friend. Well, for one, thats a lie. I’m a terrible friend, just cause of the way I talk to people. I cannot have a decent small-talk conversation with anyone without overthinking/acting.

Anyway, we attended a local festival with our children and they seemed to have fun. They had a carnival ride, funnel cake, homemade lemonade, fried Oreos and gator; and a kids zone where children could look and pet snakes, play in bouncy houses, build with Legos or Lincoln logs, face paint, and building masks/hats. It was differently creative and definitely cheaper to go than 3 years ago.

To conclude, my weekend was amazing with my family and new friends. My son got to ride his first roller coaster and kiddie rides by himself. It was awesome!!

Personal Growth

For me, I assumed personal growth was to keep educating myself, through actual schooling. In high school, I took night classes, so that I could graduate early and move on to college. Well, when I moved in with my father, I stopped the night classes and finished high school. Then, I went to the military and that hindered my education once again.

When I served my tour in Iraq, I attempted to attend an online college, so that I could get my basic classes out of the way. About 3 classes in, the government starting pulling troops out of Iraq and the internet was scarce where I was stationed: Balad, Iraq. This affected my classes and I had to use a military withdraw from that school. When I discharged in 2013, it took me about a year to get my civilian life together before I used my GI Bill to attend Sam Houston State, and graduated in 2017 with a Bachelor’s Degree.

Now…it’s my time to shine and put all my knowledge toward helping others. I can expand my current knowledge by just reading, researching, and analyzing more. I can turn my knowledge into learning for others. Out of all the philosophy and economic classes I took, I could expand almost any topic into a discussion and with my current condition, I believe that blogging will become my go-to thing because I am mostly homebound.

Today, I was listening to Rachel Hollis’ recent keynote conference podcast, and it was mostly about personal growth/development. It hit me hard because I have nothing to shoot for. I feel as if I am only a stay-at-home mom & wife. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but I feel like there’s something more for me. I am still very young snd have years to accomplish something, and this is why I started writing.

In this podcast, one topic that hit hard was the fact that we shouldn’t care about what other people think when we are shooting for what we dream for. To be honest, I don’t know what I ‘actually’ dream for, but I do know that there could be something for me if I strived for it. However, my spouse isn’t too supportive in my wish to write and take photos. For whatever reason, he assumes that when I go to write at night (or early in the morning), that I am doing other things that a wife shouldn’t be doing. To be completely honest, I do absolutely nothing at all, which is why I don’t understand why I can’t just write without mean comments. This puts me down and I tend to not write or photograph when these things happen. I take this very personally, since these are my favorite things to do.

**NOTE: While I was listening to Rachel Hollis’ podcast, I looked over at my daughter in her play pen and she had her mouth wide open trying to chew on the plastic gate itself. It was hilarious because she looked like a total goof…and a giraffe.